meemalee

My homage. It's like the Yellow Wallpaper all over again. The incredible video below entitled MasterChef Synesthesia (Buttery Biscuit Bass) has been doing the rounds on the internet. I felt like I had to share it here too, since it combines two of my most favourite things - making fun of MasterChef, and a thumping BASS BASS BASS line. The maker Swede Mason have some other gems in their back catalogue - notably a strangely haunting Richard Madeley mashup and a surprisingly appealing Jeremy Clarkson beatbox track ((( Wobble, wobble, wobble))) EDITED TO ADD: You can now buy MasterChef Synesthesia on iTunes - let's get it to Number 1 in the charts! (official release - 7p from each download goes to Comic Relief) www.youtube.com/swedemason www.swedemason.com Buy the amazing OFFICIAL Buttery Biscuit Base T-shirt from Dental Records.

2011 saw a brave new world as MasterChef (aka MehsterChef ) copied its Australian counterpart by installing a fancy piece of topiary and dragging out the already interminable extravaganza by showing us the previously untelevised audition stages. Hopefuls prepared their top dish to win a place in the final 20 (twenty!), but the series began with a whimper as the best part of the show - the Invention Test - seemed to have been consigned to history. Where's the fun in watching people make the one dish they know by heart? Where's the creativity, the ingenuity? Worse was the bizarrely humiliating format, as they were forced to wheel a tea-trolley of comestibles onto a stage and turn tricks for the gurning Gregg Wallace and John Torode. Hopes crushed, unsuccessful contenders wheeled their trolleys back off again under the eyes of their disappointed loved ones. After two episodes of X-FactorChef, I got fed up and turned off - even the gruesome twosome blind-folding contestants and m...

Dear Waitrose, Here is my entry for your Pumpkin Carving Competition . Hope you like it! Lots of love, meemalee xxx ps follow the further adventures of Pumpkin Gregg here .

Cooking doesn't get better than this! And so we've reached the final of MasterChef the Professionals 2009 . At the start, we saw such abominations as the girl who sliced butter on a board covered in rabbit blood, the lads who butchered chickens in the bad sense of the word, and people who seem to have never made a pancake in their lives. Thankfully, these so-called professionals were screened out by the marvellously terrifying Monica Galetti - Kiwi sous-chef to Michel Roux Jnr and a fab new addition to MasterChef. However, now it's just down to Michel and Gregg to decide just who will take the coveted title and win a small plastic trophy that looks a bit like the @ symbol. Voiceover lady intones "Steve, Marianne and Daniel have BATTLED their way through EXTREME competion to face their ULTIMATE tests. At the end of this show just one of these three will be CROWNED Professional MasterChef 2009". Hyperbole aside, it will be tough since all three have shown signs ...

Limping through Holborn today (I had an unfortunate skipping accident), who should I pass but Gregg the Grocer aka Gregg Wallace of TV's Masterchef. If I'd been a bit more on the ball, I would have yelled " Puddingface !" at him; as it is, I just grinned inanely. He was too busy smiling smugly to himself to notice me anyway. Perhaps he was fondly recalling today's episode of MasterChef: The Professionals. For tonight Mr Wallace unleashed the following corker: " There is mistakes throughout your cooking ". I was giggling so much that I almost missed Michel Roux Jnr denouncing the crack in a chocolate roulade as a " Chasm " as in Chas'n'Dave (who incidentally split up today ). Happy days.