meemalee

Last year I somehow managed to wangle an invitation to the Waitrose Summer Party. All the greats in the food world were meant to be in attendance, but the main attraction for me were the hosts (and Waitrose ambassadors) - Delia Smith and Heston Blumenthal. I was hoping to meet Heston so I could give him a good poke , but I wanted to meet Delia purely to engineer a situation where I could get her to say the word "hummus". Because in case you didn't know already, the First Lady of Norwich has a tendency to pronounce it " Who-Moose ". To be fair, apparently that is the correct way to say hummus or houmous, but it still makes me snigger when I hear her say it - in the same childish way that it makes me smile when a non-French person calls Paris "Paree". Anyway, Heston and Delia didn't actually turn up, so I spent my time standing next to a very tall man who'd also been looking forward to meeting them. Wie schade. Anyway, hummus or who-moose is one...

The way we were ... I have to admit, I've been feeling like I've lost my blog mojo for the past couple of weeks - that's what a surfeit of festivity can do to you. But a thoughtful article by Taccuino Spuntino (aka Russell Norman of Polpo and Polpetto) about how complaints should be dealt with prompted me to get back into the saddle. Do read it. It's reproduced from the latest Fire and Knives food quarterly. I was particularly intrigued by what he said about Heston Blumenthal - specifically Russell had attended an industry Q&A where Blumenthal was asked whether he thought food or service was more important in a restaurant. 'Without missing a beat, he replied, “Service. Every time.” He explained that you can mess up the food in a restaurant but still turn the situation around with gracious service, by compensating the customer, offering alternatives, bringing treats and bending over backwards to make them happy. But no matter how brilliant the food is, if you ...

I went to Taste of Christmas at the Excel London today. No Christmas carol this year - I'm clearly slightly less highly strung than I was . But here's my recommendations for a wonderful day if you're visiting too. Go to the Campo Viejo stand W50. Watch the lovely Spanish Chef Jose Pizarro whip up wonderful tapas and then feast upon them. Try some of the wines. Heckle Mark Lloyd who's ably assisting. Go to the Club Gascon stand. Order the Foie Gras Popcorn - as wonderful as it was last time. Even if I still don't see the point of the baby corn. Order their Capon Mango Pumpkin too. Beautiful, especially the pumpkin puree. Guess how many meringues they have in their mountain to win a copy of cookbook Cuisinier Gascon by Pascal Aussignac . Go to the Modern Pantry Stand. Order the Organic Salmon Sashimi, Truffled Umeboshi Dressing, Yuzu Tobiko, wolf it down and lick the plate. I did. I am a tramp. Also order their Vietnamese style Duke of Berkshire pork belly, mas...

The horror, the horror Wrong, wrong, wrong, I tells ya. A travesty of justice was unleashed yesterday when Builder's Breakfast won the Walkers Crisps Do Us a Flavour Election . The general public scandalously went against both my and Charlie Brooker's better judgement by voting for the mankiest potato creations ever. To recap our views quickly: Me: "... I was not put on this earth to eat eggy crisps. Just thinking about them makes me heave a little ..." Mr Brooker: "... the crisps themselves taste of stale fried egg and little else. It captures the feeling of sitting in a greasy spoon, being dumped via text while your food repeats on you. Depressing ." Builder’s Breakfast won with 232,336 votes - almost 22 % of the total . The six finalists Votes for the remaining finalist flavours were as follows: • Onion Bhaji - 221,032 votes • Fish & Chips - 218,270 votes • Crispy Duck & Hoisin - 176,184 votes • Cajun Squirrel - 116,777 votes • Chilli & Choc...

Guess what the secret ingredient is? "Contains Adult Humour and detailed scenes of Pig Butchery" No, not this, but Heston Blumenthal's Roman Feast . It's Week 4 and we’ve come to the climax of our gastronomic journey, where we find ourselves in the Roman Empire for a feast that will be "theatrical, deviant and orgasmic". The Ancient Romans were all about culinary boundarylessness , and their lusty appetites encompassed everything from flamingos to parrot tongues. Heston tells us that they particularly loved to create "theatrical spectacles to astound their diners" (anyone else getting massive déja vu ?). This week's guests are the Yes Man himself Danny Wallace , Pimms O'Clock Alexander Armstrong , coquette Greta Scacchi (or Skakky as I like to call her), the utterly bonkers Marquess of Bath ( sadly sans wifelets ), food Agony Uncle Matthew Fort and lastly the cheap version of Tara Palmer-Tompkinson (you know, the one off the rubbish...

Heston's abomination "Throw away your cookbooks - and please don't try this at home!" Confusingly commanding us to neither follow recipes nor copy his antics (what are we meant to do then?), this week Heston Blumenthal visits the Tudor Era . The royal court of Henry VIII was flamboyant and spectacular - with Shakespeare wowing the crowds at the "the-AY-tre" (sic Heston), it was the 1st Golden Age of English cookery. Heston decides this is his opportunity to recapture lost greatness by making three dishes that would make Henry VIII "proud to be an Englishman". For once I like everyone in this picture. This week his guests are Sophie Ellis Bextor ( Janet 's little girl), the rambunctious Cavalier Jay Rayner, hotelier Ruth Watson (Channel 4 says she's off " Country House Rescue "), Kelvin MacKenzie ( a journalist of some sort ), and Ms Cillaaaaaaa Ber-lack ! (sorry - was channelling Our Graham ). Oh, and there's failed doctor...

How to cook a plum . Mmm, mmm, mmmmmm "I'm on a food adventure to the extreme". These solemnly intoned words kick off the next instalment of Heston Blumenthal's Feasts . This week it's Heston's Medieval Feast . According to our man Heston, in the Middle Ages , food was used as an escape from the "brutality of life". We skip to a pseudo Bayeux Tapestry whilst Heston explains that meals were a veritable spectacle to distract people from a time when 75 million people succumbed to the Black Death . This week, all the guests meet with my approval because Andi Oliver 's a proper chef, Bill Paterson's been my hero since Traffik (with a K), John Thomson is Fat Bob , Liz McLarnon proved adorable when she won Celebrity Masterchef last year, I'm quite fond of Germaine Greer, and Craig Revel Horwood ... well, okay, most of the guests meet with my approval. Look at my lovely plum So what's Heston got up his sleeve for the appetiser? Meat fruit!...