Monday, 8 February 2010

Cup-A-Soup. FML


I've mentioned before that a slightly mental part of me likes to stockpile provisions just in case. This extends to my work environment - my colleagues refer to my desk as the Larder, as the drawers are stuffed with Penguins, crisps, muesli bars and other store-cupboard staples. I guess a lot of people do the same thing, although I like to take it one step further by having stock cubes, vinegar, Tabasco and lemon juice rattling around.

The thing I seem to have most of though is Batchelors Cup-A-Soup. I mean, it's disgusting - the croutons are like toaster debris, the peas and carrots like polystyrene peanuts, but I still quite like the taste and there's something vaguely comforting about a "just add water" meal.

My favourite is the minestrone - it has these little ring noodles that bob around prettily, but literally taste of nothing. That's fine though, because the rest of it is so jam-packed with MSG, they wouldn't have stood a chance anyway.

Anyway, the other day I thought to myself "I'm running low on Cup-A-Soup" (as there were only, ooh, three boxes left in the Larder) and pootled down to Tesco. They'd run out of my usual full-fat, but they did have the low-cal version which usually goes by the delightful name of Slim-A-Soup.

I was a bit flummoxed though, when I saw the front of the box said this:


"My boyfriend's just found my granny pants-a-Soup"

Turns out that Batchelors are running a competition requiring punters to submit their own weird-ass versions of FML, although of course they've dubbed it a significantly less uncouth "Cup-A-Soup Moment".

The Cup-A-Soup Moment has been defined as "what makes you reach for a Cup-A-Soup".

So in this particular case study, we may assume that the paramour (let's call them Person B) of the protagonist (let's call them Person A) has accidentally become familiar with Person A's hitherto hidden voluminous undergarments, and the subsequent humiliation suffered by Person A arising from Person B's discovery has caused Person A to decide that the only possible panacea in this troubling situation is a mug of instant soup.

And they bothered to print that.

The prize for the best one (apart from Cup-A-Soup packaging immortality) is a year's supply of Cup-A-Soup. The competition closes on 1 March 2010. I'm so entering.

From the Cup-A-Soup Wikipedia entry:

"Grammarians have argued as to the correct plural form of Cup-a-Soup. Some believe the correct form is Cups-a-Soup, whereas others contest that being a registered trademark the correct form is Cup-a-Soups."


  1. You really want to see the word 'pants' just before lunch don't you?
    Hilarious, well done!! :)

  2. Well? how many did you buy then?

    and go on fess up... you are really Protagonist A aren't you?

  3. p.s. it is Cuppi-a-Souppi. From the Latin I presume...

    p.p.s. the word verification for this comment is "restch". Personally I would leave out the "s"...

  4. You are so funny! Do you seriously have stock cubes in your work drawers?!

    Ps. I think you could so win the competition.

  5. Pissing-Myself-Laughing-At-Very-Amusing-Blog-Post-A-Soup!

  6. @Deepa - Cheers! It's true - who wants to think about undercrackers at lunchtime?

    @Josordoni - Just the one - although had there been more than one caption, I'd have bought more

    @Graphic Foodie - Yes, and also soy sauce and ketchup. Is that weird? Yes, it probably is.

    @Hugh Wright - That could win

  7. I can't think of any jaw dropping moment that would leave me thinking "shit! where's the Cup-A-Soup?" Hmm......*ponders*

  8. You know what I've never even had Cup-of-Soup.....and I think I might be glad about that.

  9. Everyone has their guilty food pleasures - mine has to be baked beans. Cold. Out of the tin. Nom nom nom.

    And i totally get the need to hoard secret food stashes in their (granny?) drawers. You never know when that tabasco will come in handy ;-)

  10. @FoodUrchin - You only get a hug from a Bachelors mug ...

    @goodshoeday - Best not to start - it's a filthy habit like smoking or reading on the loo.

    @The Grubworm - Not sure about beans but I can happily chomp a can of sweetcorn out of the tin. And yes, food stashes rule :)

  11. My bosses keep our office kitchen stocked with it's own in case of emergencies supply for when we are too lazy to go and buy ourselves a proper lunch. This includes cupboards full of various types of cup-a-soup and a fridge full of condiments. There is even a larder of sorts in the server room, full of new packets and jars of various pickles, chutneys, biscuits and crackers etc. I imagine you'd feel right at home ^_^

    They give us fruit and nuts too, to make sure we don't all get scurvy from our poor lunch habits. I have to admit though, I have to really not want to go outside or be seriously the wrong side of pay day to be forced to resort to the cup-a-soup&crackers lunch combo.

  12. @Rebecca - What magical place do you work for and do they have any vacancies??

    Seriously, that's so nice of them! My company gives us tea and coffee and that's it :(

  13. I purposefully went down the soup aisle in Sainsburys this morning too see these, was mesmerised by the range of differet ones! Quirky idea but didn't persuade me to buy any!

  14. My-taste-buds-have-died-and-gone-to-hell-a-soup

    You'll gather I can't stand the stuff - now pepperami (equally disgusting, I know) is a different matter! They're my secret vice and like chocolate I can't buy any, because they won't last until I get home!

  15. @Anne - They are grim. But I like them.

    @chumbles - Pepperami! It's how my husband and I got together, kind of! (not in a rude way)

  16. Pepperami is inherently the rudest thing on the planet; you don't have to be a psychiatrist to realise the significance of how it is opened! Which makes it an even guiltier pleasure - oh hell, what am I saying *mutter, mutter* I must be mad slopes off into a corner with a bucket of iced water....

    As an aside, I'm so glad you use the word husband and not the arch and twee 'hubby'.

  17. @chumbles -

    Firstly, ew, TMI.

    Secondly, dude - I use "hubby" all the time. But it's ironic so that's okay ;)

  18. Brilliant meemalee, you definitely should enter Bachelors competition ;)


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